Day 17 Blog # My Top Three Porno's

It's got to be one of the questions I get asked the most: "What's a good porno?"
Here's my top three.

1. An Open Invitation, A Real Swingers Party In San Francisco (Private Independent 02) - DVD

Private aren't usually one of my favourite purveyors of porn, tending to be all about HIM - fake boobs, formulaic sex and hours of pumping with the typical money shot at the end. BORING!
'An Open Invitation' however has definite couples appeal, combining storyline, natural actors, hot sex scenes and great locations - the last being an actual swingers party in San Francisco. Fabulous!
Women love this dvd because it's hardcore without being aimed at men only. Too many 'women friendly' porno's are just too soft or too cheesy.
This one ticks all the boxes and stands as a Passionfruit fave.

2. Street Heat 1 (Joybear) - DVD

You could call this the ABC of porn as opposed to the Foxtel. The British love of 'natural' as opposed to the hyper-reality loved by Americans works a treat for the porn genre. 'Streetheat' combines innocence and sex in just the right measure and delivers realistic, believable scenarios. Here, the Streetheat crew stop some very pretty girls on the streets of London and persuade them to become stars in their own porno. It's irresistibly voyeuristic with an unbeatable mix of amateur sex and professional production.

3. Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Female Orgasms (Vivid Ed) - DVD

Tristan Taormino is this great mix of nerdy looking American sex educator and super hard core, feminist porn star. I love her!
Ms Taormino doesn't don the 'expert' moniker for nothing. She gives a wholly educational, explicit, no-holes-barred, sensual and straightforward program designed to teach you how to have orgasms and improve them. Her honest instruction utilises diagrams, a handmade velvet anatomical interpretation and best of all, five couples who show the viewer exactly how it's done. It's not gratuitous or overdone, the models are natural and open, and the information is clear, precise, inclusive and helpful. Some of our favourite sex toys, such as the We-Vibe and the Pure Wand are featured as tools to improve lovemaking and showcase the stunning diversity of female orgasm. Excellent.

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#1. The Anus Mono(log)ues

THE ANUS MONO(LOG)UES

In the tradition of Eve Ensler's 'The Vagina Monologues', I have decided to talk to women about, not their vaginas - well that's just passe now - but their (much more controversial) anuses.

Just as Eve uncovered women's thoughts, shame and perceptions about their vaginas, I have endeavoured to get to the bottom of the current anal fixation. Blame it on the internet, but butt sex is practically as popular as garden variety intercourse - and that has created an entire anus industry! Not just a whole new porn genre, (think Anal Acrobats, Anal Honeymoon in the Tropics, In Anal Sluts We Trust etc.) but also crack waxing, bleaching, bum botox, home enema kits and an explosion in the sale of butt plugs, anal beads and prostate massagers.

It's no wonder that there are so many questions, worries, concerns and emotions surrounding The Anus. When Ms Ensler first began her Monologues, she said of the vagina, "There's so much secrecy surrounding them - like The Bermuda Triangle. Nobody ever reports back from there." Well that's doubly true of the anus - apart from proctologists.

So I have begun, as Eve Ensler did before me, by asking each woman participating in 'The Anus Monologues' the same two questions.

1. If your anus got dressed, what would it wear?

Here's a list of my favourite answers:
A champagne cork. A cigar. A cocktail parasol. A flower. Hijab. Diamonds. False eyelashes.

2. If your anus could talk, what would it say?

And here's a selection of answers:
Exit only. Phhht. Wrong one. Brave choice. What smells? Excuse me! Yeah baby!

As you can imagine, running a sex shop gives me access to a million different stories surrounding The Anus and I must give thanks to the many women who have opened themselves up to me. We are currently negotiating filming rights for 'The Anus Mono(log)ues' and are auditioning now. So if you have an anus story that you think might be helpful to others, please submit.

And next time you go to the beauty parlour, think about your reply when asked for a bleach, wax or botox or you might end up with a sore back crack, slightly firmer butt cheeks and the same old crows feet.

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