Day 11 Blog # Gay Marriage

I am puzzled by the arguments against same sex marriage.
Confused, bewildered, nonplussed and flummoxed.
I've read many arguments for and against and I'm still mystified by it all.
None of it makes any sense.
No, gay marriage is not traditional, but my marriage isn't traditional either.
I didn't marry for social, legal or economic reasons and my father didn't choose my mate.

A MODERN MOTHER'S FAMILY
(mother at centre in pink)

(from left to right - daughter from second marriage, grandson, stepdaughter in-law, granddaughter in-law, granddaughter in-law from husband's third marriage, grandson in-law from third husband's second marriage, adopted son, gay son's son via surrogacy, first husband's second wife, daughter, my third husband's daughter, my third husband's daughter's stepson, my third husband's daughter's other stepson, my bisexual fuckbuddy and his triplets from his first marriage).

I'm pretty sure Christmas and Easter aren't celebrated in the traditional way any more either but they haven't been banned, nor will they ever be.

(nice and traditional)

Marriage isn’t for procreation any more either. Anyone can do it.

Even gay people!!!

What confuses is me most in this debate, is why our government would make it legal for gay people to have children and then endlessly debate whether or not they should let them get married as well.
See my confusion?
It’s the wrong way around. It’s not logical.

The modern reason for marriage is only love (and some legal, protective issues).

Love
Love
Love
Love

Why would anyone want to ban love?
Surely it could only be the mean spirited or the bigoted or the homophobic - and we have laws that protect us against these people, so that's confusing me too.

It's pretty widely understood that the government are afraid of the Christian right who are the leaders in the argument against same sex marriage.

(go figure)

Plenty of people, when grilled on why they don't support gay marriage, can't really explain it. They just think it's wrong - yet many religions and churches support it.


And there it is.
It all comes down to anal sex.
People can’t handle it.
When they think ‘gay’, they picture anal sex and it disturbs them.
I wonder why?
Perhaps they've either been abused and sodomised (probably by their local priest) or they have gay fantasies that they're ashamed of.
There's just no other logical explanation.
Now there's a debate to have at your next barbeque.

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#1. The Anus Mono(log)ues

THE ANUS MONO(LOG)UES

In the tradition of Eve Ensler's 'The Vagina Monologues', I have decided to talk to women about, not their vaginas - well that's just passe now - but their (much more controversial) anuses.

Just as Eve uncovered women's thoughts, shame and perceptions about their vaginas, I have endeavoured to get to the bottom of the current anal fixation. Blame it on the internet, but butt sex is practically as popular as garden variety intercourse - and that has created an entire anus industry! Not just a whole new porn genre, (think Anal Acrobats, Anal Honeymoon in the Tropics, In Anal Sluts We Trust etc.) but also crack waxing, bleaching, bum botox, home enema kits and an explosion in the sale of butt plugs, anal beads and prostate massagers.

It's no wonder that there are so many questions, worries, concerns and emotions surrounding The Anus. When Ms Ensler first began her Monologues, she said of the vagina, "There's so much secrecy surrounding them - like The Bermuda Triangle. Nobody ever reports back from there." Well that's doubly true of the anus - apart from proctologists.

So I have begun, as Eve Ensler did before me, by asking each woman participating in 'The Anus Monologues' the same two questions.

1. If your anus got dressed, what would it wear?

Here's a list of my favourite answers:
A champagne cork. A cigar. A cocktail parasol. A flower. Hijab. Diamonds. False eyelashes.

2. If your anus could talk, what would it say?

And here's a selection of answers:
Exit only. Phhht. Wrong one. Brave choice. What smells? Excuse me! Yeah baby!

As you can imagine, running a sex shop gives me access to a million different stories surrounding The Anus and I must give thanks to the many women who have opened themselves up to me. We are currently negotiating filming rights for 'The Anus Mono(log)ues' and are auditioning now. So if you have an anus story that you think might be helpful to others, please submit.

And next time you go to the beauty parlour, think about your reply when asked for a bleach, wax or botox or you might end up with a sore back crack, slightly firmer butt cheeks and the same old crows feet.

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