Monday, November 7, 2011

Day 14 Blog # Resistance to Sexual Pleasure

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Most of us are lucky enough to orgasm easily and often, but for others, it can be elusive.
Some women find it difficult to masturbate themselves to orgasm and others, while they have little trouble self pleasuring, cannot fully relax enough to experience orgasm with a partner.
When there is resistance to sexual pleasure, relationships suffer and sexual confidence and power is eroded.
There are many ways to explore the root of one's resistance to sexual pleasure, and in today's blog, I'm talking to Tanishka who works as a 'tantrica' and helps women and couples to be more sexually open.



What is a 'tantrika'?

I heard this term & without researching what it meant, intuitively knew it described perfectly what I do, so rather than a text book description this is mine: A Tantrika practices & facilitates other's through Tantric practices. This covers a broad range of services so not every Tantrika works as a sexual healer. I work as a private Tantric coach for couples, initiating them through kundalini raising practices & increasing emotional intimacy. I give them sensual & sexual homework but we all keep our clothes on in my sessions.

How can tantra improve your sex life?

Tantra means to weave, hence the emblem of the entwined serpents. When we see our union as a temple for soul growth, we embrace practices that deepen soul to soul intimacy. When we are connected emotionally, mentally & energetically the physical dance of creativity becomes a symphony greater than any manual that focuses on individual body parts could hope to imagine. Tantra invites all our hidden aspects out to be safely explored so monogamy is never boring or predictable as so many different archetypal energies surface spontaneously to be expressed, including the masculine & feminine polarities of each partner.

In what way can your work benefit those with sexual blockages?

Where there's resistance there's fear. Where's there's numbness there's pain, such as for many women post birth trauma. I hold a safe space with both individuals & couples to journey into the psyche using whatever processes feel intuitively right such as archetypal meditations, crystal healing (non-invasive), time line regression (which can illuminate past life traumas), art therapy, even working with a yoni puppet to give women's vulvas a voice. This enables us to identify the root cause & simply hold a supported space for them to release the associated pain out of all their bodies. I then assist them in creating appropriate boundaries so they can confidently claim back their sexual power.

A goddess has no constraints. How does a woman access her 'inner goddess' and realise her full sexual potential?

Well, honestly I wrote the book I wish had been there for me! 'The Inner Goddess Makeover' which is a step by step workbook for women to meet & unveil the 7 universal aspects of the feminine psyche, which when understood & expressed unblock the life force in the 7 major chakras which they govern so a woman's Shakti (Goddess essence) awakens as an inner serpent of kundalini (life force) raising her inner light, consciousness, vitality, health, self-awareness & empowerment. (Makes Oil of Ulan look like snake oil! heh heh)

We see so many women in the media dieting and going to extreme lengths to be 'perfect'. How can women be more accepting of their looks and bodies and have more self confidence?

The media is invested in undermining women's self perception so they will spend more to 'improve' themselves. So limit your exposure to this corporate propaganda. Mute the ads, don't buy trash mags & take a book to the doctor's surgery. Secondly by attending women's empowerment workshops, red tent circles & reading books which affirm the natural beauty, strengths & wisdom of the feminine which is in all of us, regardless of our age, dress size, skin complexion, hair colour or race.

Stay tuned for my next interview with Jenni Selwood, who works as a hypnotherapist in Melbourne, specialising in sexual issues.
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Saturday, November 5, 2011

Day 12 Blog # Love Letter

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I love love letters.
My (now) husband wooed me with his letters of love and longing and he can still make me swoon with his poetry 25 years later.
In fact, even his marriage proposal was a lengthy letter of love.
How could a girl resist?

At Passionfruit, I often talk to women about ways to be more creative in the bedroom - things she can do to really make her lover drool with lust for her.
Suffice to say, it isn't always that difficult.

To hold a woman in the palm of a man's hand however, takes more than mere sexual prowess (although that can count for a lot if he's completely devoted to the art).
A handful of enchanting words have the power to move, transform, draw and enfold; love that may otherwise be ephemeral.

'Love letter, love letter,
Go get her, go get her.'


When writing a woman a love letter, a man is not telling her what a brilliant organiser, superwoman, cook, mother, lover she is.
He is appealing to her most sentimental, romantic, feminine, sensuous qualities.

The best love letters let her know that he is the man and she is the woman.
She is worth crossing oceans for, hailing chariots of angels for and banishing all demons for - just to be with her, to fill her up and adore her.
A love letter transforms a mere girl, into an icon, a goddess, a woman, and gives the writer the qualities of the warrior, the champion and the protector.

The best love letters, compel a woman to understand the truth of love.
They make her remember (because she has always known it) that love is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.
In the detached, cold world of tweets and texts, it is the heartfelt, poetic ballad of longing, lust, devotion and yearning that conquers.

BRING IT ON
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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Day 3 Blog # Passionfruit's Top 3 Toys of The Year.

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All toys have been given points out of 10 for three criteria.
Form, Function, Fun

Number 1: Lyla by Lelo

$159.00

In number 1 spot with a score of 10/10 is the spanking new Lyla from Swedish brand Lelo.

10/10 points to Lyla for superior design, aesthetic and function.

This little gem is the toy I've been waiting for!
Remote controlled vibrators have been popular for some time, especially after seeing them in such films as Shortbus (borrow it if you can) and The Ugly Truth.
The trouble is - they've never worked very well.
Also, the person in control of your little vibrating egg, never knows if it's working, so is constantly looking at you with an expectant, hopeful, slightly alarmed gaze.

Lelo's industry first sensemotion Lyla, enables the controller to know exactly what's happening because the control pad vibrates in unison with the egg.
By simply flicking the wrist and moving the controller from side to side, you can make the egg vibrate as fast or as slow as you like.
You can watch this very cheesy video to see exactly how it can be used.





Beautiful form, hypo-allergenic, waterproof, re-chargeable, 12 speed.

10/10 points to Lyla for Fun.

What could be more exciting than going to a party, dinner date or library with this sexy little vibrating ball inside you or your pants?
You'll love it and your partner will love your little secret.
Try it. It's awesome!

Number 2: Calla by Fun Factory
$195.00



The fabulously soft, delectable Calla by Germany's Fun Factory receives 9/10 points.

10/10 points to Calla for superior design, aesthetic and function.

Calla has a beautiful form and texture that makes you want to hold it and love it and never let it go. If you were a fly on the wall at Passionfruit, you would notice me and the other staff plus the customers, walking around with this toy firmly gripped in our palm.
The loop at the base is a lovely ergonomic design and the control buttons lights up as soon as you pick it up so there's no fumbling in the dark.
It's waterproof, re-chargeable, hypo-allergenic and multi-speed.
Only 1 point is lost for the soft buttons that can be damaged by long fingernails.
No points lost for the Fun Factor though.

10/10 points to Calla for Fun.

Calla has remarkable strength - so much so that you can still feel it even after you've turned it off!
The floral whorling shape is wonderfully suited for both vaginal and anal use and the base vibrates perfectly over the clitoris.
All of these factors combine to make a toy that is versatile, sensual, powerful and sexy.
A must have in your toy box.

Number 3: We-Vibe 11 by Standard Innovation Corporation
$169.00


The We-Vibe is the first toy to give both partners the ride of their lives!

8/10 points to We-Vibe 11 for design, aesthetic and function.

Invented by a savvy Canadian couple, the We-Vibe was created for couples to use together.
The ingenious design allows the woman to insert one end of the C shape into her vagina, while the other end wraps itself externally around her clitoris.
Nine different variations in vibration can then be utilised - but the best bit is that the little device stays inside during sex!
For the woman, it feels as though she has a vibrating penis inside her, and for the man, it feels like a hot, vibrating vagina! Hell yeah!
It's waterproof, re-chargeable, hypo-allergenic and multi-speed.
There are now many variations of the We-Vibe - a testament to its groundbreaking brilliance.
I take just 1 point away for the slight difficulty in changing the speed whilst it is inside you;
a tricky procedure at the best of times.
Another point lost for the sometimes rubbery feel of the toy.
Lots of lubrication is a must!

10/10 points to We-Vibe 11 for Fun.

If you're planning a hot weekend away, a surprise birthday present, or something to spice things up a little, We-Vibe 11 is a brilliant sex toy.
It's the best toy to buy if you don't want your partner to feel like they're missing out!
Just know that it takes 24 hours to charge initially.
Many customers have rung through first and asked us to have it fully charged in time for pick up.
A job we're happy to do!




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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Liebster Award

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I have just had the the sweetest note dropped in to my inbox.

It informed me of a Liebster award bestowed upon me for blogging!

Michelle Wright, owner of Mishfit, nominated me for this award, and is herself a wonderful teacher of fitness and health with remarkable business savvy. So thanks Mishi. Ich liebe dich!

What is a Liebster you may wonder? Both a word (German for dearest or beloved) and an honour, it is bestowed by those in the early stages of writing a blog (less than 200 followers) upon 3-5 bloggers they admire.

When nominated we should:

1. Link back to the blogger who awarded us.

2. Tag 3-5 blogs to receive the award.

3. Inform them of their nomination.

4. Display the Liebster Award image on our blog.


Here are 3 of my favorite bloggers.

1. I met Tanishka of Star of Ishtar many years ago. She drifted through my shop door leaving a trail of exotic, mysterious scent in her wake. Her flaming, wild red hair meandered in all directions while she perused such books as 'Goddess Orgasm', fanned herself with a peacock feather fan, dabbed spicy oils and fingered silky knickers - all the while smiling brightly and looking at me directly with her deep pools of light filled eyes. Tanishka brought the madness and delight of a snake charmed Moroccan bazaar with her and I was instantly hooked. She's a deep well of esoteric knowledge mixed with spot on intuition, is open and encompassing, as well as complex and infinite. She's a fantastic writer and I'm always delighted when her blog pings on my screen like magic.

2. Casey Jenkins and Rayna Fahey of Melbourne Craft Cartel are 'craftivists not capitalists' whose work inspired me when I saw them on a recent documentary 'Making it Handmade'. What I loved about the documentary, was the chance to see women who want to change things, alter perceptions and fight injustice, and who do so in a totally unique, peaceful, rootsy, hardcore but ultimately feminine way. I so often ponder my own perceived lack of power to change things, but seeing the way these women approach activism is truly inspiring. They're not in your face, they're not aggressive, they're not traditional, boring or money raising. They are everything woman represents. Nurturing, creative, loving, thoughtful and smart. And they're making the world a better place using all those qualities. Their blog speaks directly to me.

And now for my 3rd award........I haven't got one! Isn't that pathetic? I've been racking my brain, searching high and low, asking friends - all to no avail. I'm asking all of you to please help me with any suggestions so I can give my award posthumorously. Geez, you'd think it'd be easy to find a great writer who writes about all the things I'm most interested in.

Thank you again Mishi for nominating me for the Liebster award, it's just the kick in the pants that I need to get back into a writing habit - and for inspiring me to take up the challenge to blog for 21 days in a row (Ludwina Dautovic of Red Tent Radio says that google will then remember your website and rank it higher). I know that writing a quality blog each day will be a challenge… so would any other bloggers like to join me?





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